I found this little tidbit on http://vegantabulous.blogspot.com/, who incidentally has a very nice nice blog, and you should check it out.
Kitty Job Description
BATHROOMS - Always accompany guests to the bath room. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit & stare.
DOORS - Do not allow any closed doors ... in any room. To get the door opened, stand on hind legs & hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it's not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand half-way in & out & think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
CHAIRS AND RUGS - If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it's as long as a human's bare foot.
HAMPERING - If one of your humans is engaged in any activity, and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering. Following are the rules for hampering:
- When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.- For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book --unless you can lie across the book itself.- When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen, and then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.
WALKING - As often as possible, dart quickly & as close as possible in front of the human... especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark & when they first get up in the morning. This will help their co-ordination skills.
BEDTIME - Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
LITTER BOX - When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
HIDING - Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you and ... do NOT come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out... the humans will cover you with love & kisses, and you probably will get a treat.
ONE LAST THOUGHT - Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, then turn around and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often.
My own two feline buddies (Bill Murray and Ghostface Killa) do ALL of these, as often as possible. Their favorites are the walking rule and the last thought. But these all happen on a daily basis, making life more fun and enjoyable for everyone in the apartment.
On another, related, note: my lovely, dearest bf saw on TV today that people who have cats are generally more happy than those who do not. This is because you can sit around and talk to your cats all day, as therapy, I guess. I don't know if this is true for everyone, but I do know that I am always happier when I have kitties than when I do not.
No food today, though I will say that last night was an experiment of burritos. We are running low on ingredients since payday is tomorrow, so I did not have tortillas. So I made my own! Photos and recipes to follow soon. Internet at the house is in progress.
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